Tuesday, 10 November 2015

Anchor Through the Seas of Life


Like a lot of women, my relationship with my mum is sometimes a little stormy. We love each other deeply but at times we clash a bit. And that's ok, it's not unique it is what it is. So mum if you are reading this I love you very much, storms and all.

My dad was an anchor for me all my life. Quiet and contemplative, funny and quick witted. Gentle and caring to a fault. My dad always had an answer especially with humans. He loved children, just adored them and they loved him too. My favourite pictures of dad are the ones of him with me when I was little, and the ones with Joseph. Even when he was frail he would play cars or watch In the Night Garden with Joseph. They are such precious memories.

When I announced my rather surprise pregnancy my mum was a bit shocked. However my dad took it all in his stride and with typical Bob-ness said "congratulations we are delighted! We don't care what it is, as long as it's healthy and as long as it's a boy" Dad longed for a grandson.

So when Joseph was born I breathed a sigh of relief. I had kept half of the bargain.

This photo was taken many years before the one above. I am struck by how similar they are. Joseph had a huge sense of wonder at his first "selfie" taken before the term was in the Oxford English Dictionary. Dad had the same when I took that in the last moments of our last visit.

These men make me feel the same. Dad always made me feel like a good daughter, dependable, loving and kind (even though at times I could be very difficult). Joseph makes me feel like a good mum. I loved being dad's daughter, and I love being Joseph's mum.

I think, rather than dad's "selfishness" at wanting a grandson to balance out his 2 beloved grand daughters that my sister made (she then stole my thunder and produced a boy soon after Joseph was born) dad knew I needed a son. Joseph has restored my faith in men (along with my husband) He is such a good man. During my recent period of sadness he said to me "it's one of those women things isn't it, I'll just hug you until it gets better". Then when I dropped him off at school he said "if you get sad make a cup of coffee". He then wandered off to his line and stood with his friends, turned around and shouted "TEA! Mummy it's tea in crisis not coffee. If you feel sad you need to make a cup of tea, not coffee, ok!"

That is so Bob like. My dad could have well said the same thing.

It's Dad's birthday today.

He would have been 90

Happy birthday dad and thank you for ensuring I had a son, my anchor. 

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